Remember this list I was working on? I got to this next one and just didn’t feel particularly inspired and then there was the whole building a house and moving thing…

Prompt #13: What’s the hardest part of growing up?

This has been an interesting question for me to consider. I feel like I had a wonderful childhood and “growing up.”  Parents that always made me feel special and loved, that made me feel like my presence was a joy to them. The unique experience of moving all over the world. A religious community that gave my teen years a backdrop of morality and a place of belonging. I would say it was a pretty charmed life.

But since I have to answer, I guess I would say that transitioning from child to adult had its hard moments. I spent my 11th grade year in Honduras while my parents served there as mission presidents. Something inside of me pushed me to apply for early admittance to BYU and I ended up skipping 12th grade and heading to Utah at the young age of 16. I was 16, starting college, miles and countries apart from my parents, and pretty much on my own. Talk about a learning experience, in big and in little ways! For example, I went from having a maid that did my laundry and cleaned house (totally normal in Latin America) to suddenly having to fend for myself. It wasn’t a huge deal. Learning those kinds of skills was more about practice then anything else. And I am grateful for how my parents handled it. They didn’t step in and try to do everything for me. Now, maybe that was helped by the fact that they were in another country. But I really felt like they trusted me and knew I would do my best. Looking back on it, that was pretty amazing! I hope I can have the same level of trust with my children when they are 16. Because of that trust, I had the chance to learn basic homemaking skills, be fully responsible for all my academic work, handle my own finances, make friends, and live a pretty independent life, mistakes and all.

Was is a struggle sometimes, straddling my youth and my new adulthood? Of course! And, I will admit, there were times when I would come back home and feel like I was still being treated like a child, even though I thought I was all grown up. That just goes to show how young I still was, trying too hard to prove I was a big girl. I found myself dealing with those same feelings when I got married. Here I was, a married woman, but I still felt like a child in my parent’s home. But wasn’t I? And aren’t I still? When I got married at 19, I was still a teenager. At 29, I think I’ve realized that I always want to be a child in their home. I still feel special and loved and now that I am a mother myself, I think I understand a bit more. What on earth am I going to do when Amelie decides to get married, or move out? Cry, that’s what. And then send her on her way with love and trust so that she can have the same opportunities that I had.

So, the hardest part about growing up for me was also one of the biggest blessings. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for believing in me, trusting me, and loving me. And for the constant support you give me now. I’m a pretty lucky girl.