Once upon a time, I worked on a list of “30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me.” I made it to #24. That was in September of 2014. 2014, people! I want to go back and reread my responses. I bet some things have changed since then. But, I really want to finish this little project, so here we go.

If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

This might sound very self-absorbed, but I think I would want to have dinner with myself as a child. I’d take my sweet little self, maybe 7 or 8 years old, and we’d go to Fireside Manor in Dunkirk, NY, the very fanciest place my child self could imagine.

The Fireside Manor.

I’d pick my little self up at our brown Victorian house on Hamlet Street in Fredonia. We didn’t live here when I was this age, but I still consider it home. Little Raven would have her hair in braids and some darling dress on made by our mother. And off we’d go. At the restaurant, I’d help her look over the menu and let her order whatever she wanted. She’d probably order chocolate chip pancakes. We’d eat and talk and I would just try to really savor this moment with myself. I’d have questions.

“Tell me about yourself, Raven. What kinds of things do you like to do?”

“How is school going? What makes you happy about school? What parts of school make you worried?”

“Tell me about your family. Tell me about your mom and dad and your brothers.”

And I’d have things to tell her, while she was drinking milk through a straw and eating those pancakes. Things about the world and about how special she is and about love. But mostly I think I’d just listen and watch her.

What a gift that would be, to see myself as I was, and as I am. I see myself from a third person perspective and to just love myself. To recognize how perfect and amazing I was, and am. We’re so hard on ourselves. So quick to find fault and feel guilt and speak harshly to ourselves. But what if we could just spend a couple of hours with ourselves as children and see in perfect beauty how lovable we really are? How worthy we really are? Wouldn’t that be something?