Well, I guess I need to finish writing up Liam’s birth story. Where were we? We were at the hospital, but everything was checking out fine and we were planning to take him home on Friday, April 19th, two days after he was born. We were so happy on Friday. Bryce and I watched the required teaching videos that they make you watch at the hospital–one about shaken baby syndrome and one about infant CPR. The infant CPR video was really cheesy. Think 1980s aerobics video kind of material. It was fun to sit and laugh with Bryce. It had been a hard couple of days and I could feel the relief washing over me as I anticipated bringing Liam home. While we watched the videos and got our room cleaned up, Liam sat in his car seat for the 90-minute car seat test that’s required of all NICU babies. They have to prove that they can sit in that position for 90 minutes without their oxygen levels going down. He passed without any problem.

I got out a little outfit for my baby, the second try at a going home outfit, and laid it out on his little hospital bassinet. We were going home!

I noticed that shifts had changed and there was a new nurse practitioner walking around talking on the phone, clearly very busy. We hadn’t met her yet during our stay. I think I remarked to Bryce that she looked very busy. I overheard her say something about a blood test result and something went off in my head, but I brushed it aside and assumed she was talking about one of the other babies in the NICU. We were going home. Our baby was just fine.

Turns out, he wasn’t. Without so much as a “Hello,” this new nurse practitioner came into our room and said, “His 48-hour blood culture just came back and it’s positive. You’re going to have to stay here at least another 2 or 3 days.” Her busyness seemed to remove bedside manners. You have to be so careful when you’re talking to parents of tiny ones! We were just thrown this information and we sat there in shock. We were going home! Were they sure they had the right baby? Someone went and got the neonatologist, the doctor in charge of the unit, and he sat down with us to answer our questions and explain things. The news just got worse. Yes, his blood culture had come back positive. Yes, they had the right baby. Yes, it was a bacterial infection. Something that if we hadn’t caught it, could possibly have ended in meningitis, a very very scary infection. And, yes, they needed Liam to stay longer. Not 2-3 days, but 7 so that they could get a full round of antibiotics through his tiny little system.

I just sat there holding my sweet little baby up to my shoulder trying not to let the tears take over, at least not in front of the doctor. Bryce did all the talking. I was just in shock and kept kissing Liam’s sweet head. My baby was sick and he wasn’t coming home today. Bryce gave Liam another blessing, tears streaming down my cheeks. Our rooming-in time was up, so we packed our things into our car, left Liam at the hospital where they started his antibiotics, and went home. I cried all the way home, his empty car seat riding behind me. That car seat wasn’t supposed to be empty. I was going home without my baby.

Bryce and Liam.

Bryce got permission to work from home for the week so he could take care of the kids during the day. Friends and neighbors brought us meals and babysat the kids for a couple hours a day so that Bryce could come visit Liam in the hospital. And I drove back and forth between the hospital and home several times a day. I wanted to be there with Liam as much as I could and only came home to eat and sleep. The rest of the time, I was in the NICU, holding him, rocking him, talking with the nurses, weighing him before and after I nursed him, weighing his diapers, pumping breast milk so the nurses would have plenty for his night feedings, and making sure he was okay. It was a special time, a time just with my baby. During the same time, Liam got poked and prodded, poor guy. He had IVs going in through the top of his hands, but those stopped working, so they put a line in through his skull. When that one wasn’t enough, they inserted a PICC line, a catheter system that went in through his skull and ran down to his heart. This was a more stable way to deliver the antibiotics and other fluid he was getting. He also had to have a spinal tap (or lumbar puncture) done so they could see how far the infection had spread. Unfortunately, it took 4 tries across the span of 3 days to get the necessary fluid. From everything I’ve read and heard, it’s a very uncomfortable procedure. It made me sad that he was having all this done, such a tiny little thing.

Grandma and Grandpa Haymond got to come for a little visit.

Liam never looked sick while we were there and got better and better each day. We thought he might get to come home on Friday, April 26th. On Wednesday, the 24th, I got the best anniversary present ever–he could come home on Thursday! I was over the moon and ran out to the waiting area to call Bryce. Liam was eating well, gaining weight well, and everything was looking up. We just needed to get the final doses of antibiotics in him and then he could come home.

First day home.

And this time, he did. On Thursday, April 25th, we finally got to put on that going home outfit and ride home together with our baby in tow. During my pregnancy, I was anxious about having four children. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle it, that four kids in our small condo on the third floor all under the age of six would just be too much. But all those hours sitting in the hospital holding my baby, there was nothing I wanted more than to have my four kids in my small condo on the third floor. Things were definitely put into perspective and my heart was changed. Has it all been easy since we got home? No. But is it all worth it? Yes. I wouldn’t change a thing.