Liam is 2 months old today! He has changed so much since we brought him home from the hospital. He sleeps well at night (once he decides to go to sleep), is a delight during the day, and is just an overall sweetheart.

He’s found his thumb. I know we’ll have to deal with weaning him from it eventually, but for now it’s so cute! And it helps him self-soothe, so that’s great.

I love baby smiles! They are such a delight. At 2 months, Liam gives lots of good smiles.

Love you so much, my sweet little man!

Well, I guess I need to finish writing up Liam’s birth story. Where were we? We were at the hospital, but everything was checking out fine and we were planning to take him home on Friday, April 19th, two days after he was born. We were so happy on Friday. Bryce and I watched the required teaching videos that they make you watch at the hospital–one about shaken baby syndrome and one about infant CPR. The infant CPR video was really cheesy. Think 1980s aerobics video kind of material. It was fun to sit and laugh with Bryce. It had been a hard couple of days and I could feel the relief washing over me as I anticipated bringing Liam home. While we watched the videos and got our room cleaned up, Liam sat in his car seat for the 90-minute car seat test that’s required of all NICU babies. They have to prove that they can sit in that position for 90 minutes without their oxygen levels going down. He passed without any problem.

I got out a little outfit for my baby, the second try at a going home outfit, and laid it out on his little hospital bassinet. We were going home!

I noticed that shifts had changed and there was a new nurse practitioner walking around talking on the phone, clearly very busy. We hadn’t met her yet during our stay. I think I remarked to Bryce that she looked very busy. I overheard her say something about a blood test result and something went off in my head, but I brushed it aside and assumed she was talking about one of the other babies in the NICU. We were going home. Our baby was just fine.

Turns out, he wasn’t. Without so much as a “Hello,” this new nurse practitioner came into our room and said, “His 48-hour blood culture just came back and it’s positive. You’re going to have to stay here at least another 2 or 3 days.” Her busyness seemed to remove bedside manners. You have to be so careful when you’re talking to parents of tiny ones! We were just thrown this information and we sat there in shock. We were going home! Were they sure they had the right baby? Someone went and got the neonatologist, the doctor in charge of the unit, and he sat down with us to answer our questions and explain things. The news just got worse. Yes, his blood culture had come back positive. Yes, they had the right baby. Yes, it was a bacterial infection. Something that if we hadn’t caught it, could possibly have ended in meningitis, a very very scary infection. And, yes, they needed Liam to stay longer. Not 2-3 days, but 7 so that they could get a full round of antibiotics through his tiny little system.

I just sat there holding my sweet little baby up to my shoulder trying not to let the tears take over, at least not in front of the doctor. Bryce did all the talking. I was just in shock and kept kissing Liam’s sweet head. My baby was sick and he wasn’t coming home today. Bryce gave Liam another blessing, tears streaming down my cheeks. Our rooming-in time was up, so we packed our things into our car, left Liam at the hospital where they started his antibiotics, and went home. I cried all the way home, his empty car seat riding behind me. That car seat wasn’t supposed to be empty. I was going home without my baby.

Bryce and Liam.

Bryce got permission to work from home for the week so he could take care of the kids during the day. Friends and neighbors brought us meals and babysat the kids for a couple hours a day so that Bryce could come visit Liam in the hospital. And I drove back and forth between the hospital and home several times a day. I wanted to be there with Liam as much as I could and only came home to eat and sleep. The rest of the time, I was in the NICU, holding him, rocking him, talking with the nurses, weighing him before and after I nursed him, weighing his diapers, pumping breast milk so the nurses would have plenty for his night feedings, and making sure he was okay. It was a special time, a time just with my baby. During the same time, Liam got poked and prodded, poor guy. He had IVs going in through the top of his hands, but those stopped working, so they put a line in through his skull. When that one wasn’t enough, they inserted a PICC line, a catheter system that went in through his skull and ran down to his heart. This was a more stable way to deliver the antibiotics and other fluid he was getting. He also had to have a spinal tap (or lumbar puncture) done so they could see how far the infection had spread. Unfortunately, it took 4 tries across the span of 3 days to get the necessary fluid. From everything I’ve read and heard, it’s a very uncomfortable procedure. It made me sad that he was having all this done, such a tiny little thing.

Grandma and Grandpa Haymond got to come for a little visit.

Liam never looked sick while we were there and got better and better each day. We thought he might get to come home on Friday, April 26th. On Wednesday, the 24th, I got the best anniversary present ever–he could come home on Thursday! I was over the moon and ran out to the waiting area to call Bryce. Liam was eating well, gaining weight well, and everything was looking up. We just needed to get the final doses of antibiotics in him and then he could come home.

First day home.

And this time, he did. On Thursday, April 25th, we finally got to put on that going home outfit and ride home together with our baby in tow. During my pregnancy, I was anxious about having four children. I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle it, that four kids in our small condo on the third floor all under the age of six would just be too much. But all those hours sitting in the hospital holding my baby, there was nothing I wanted more than to have my four kids in my small condo on the third floor. Things were definitely put into perspective and my heart was changed. Has it all been easy since we got home? No. But is it all worth it? Yes. I wouldn’t change a thing.

For those of you wondering, I will finish the story of Liam’s birth and hospital stay soon. But these writing prompts are so much fun! Today’s prompt:

Describe 3 Legitimate Fears

I wonder what an illegitimate fear would be? No matter. Back to the prompt.

Fear #1: Heights

I don’t fear heights if I’m enclosed–if I am in a tall building or something. But if I feel at all exposed, the fear definitely strikes. So, really big ferris wheels, ski lifts, and the tall scaffolding I had to climb at an outdoor theater in Tahiti to get to my light booth to operate the spot light during a ballroom dance concert all terrify me. Wait, you haven’t heard that last story before? I’ll have to tell it to you sometime.

Fear #2: The death of one of my children.

What mother doesn’t fear this? News stories, the tragedies that have hit friends and loved ones, and just the risks associated with everyday life all add to my worry. These little ones are just so very precious.

Fear #3: Birds

Ironic, isn’t it? I mean with my name and all. I’ve had a fear of birds as long as I can remember. I mean, I can appreciate a bird in flight high up in the sky and I even enjoy the bird show at our local zoo. But I get very uncomfortable if I am near a bird or if there’s one in the room. A bird in flight around a room? Even worse. I don’t know, something about them just sets me on edge. Like they could fly into me at any minute, or peck me, or something. So, sorry, Bryce. That African Gray parrot you’ve always wanted? Not gonna happen.

A while back, I found this great list of writing prompts. Each prompt is designed to help my kids learn something about me. A friend of mine starting posting her answers on her blog and I thought it would be fun to follow suit. Someday, I think my kids will really enjoy these.

Prompt #1: List 20 Random Facts About Yourself

1. I am a fast reader. I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve done so much reading, but somehow I’ve developed a pretty impressive reading speed.

2. I’m always on the hunt for my passion. Right now, my children take up most of my time and that is how I want it. But I know that there is something out there that I want to do outside of the home as well. I’ve considered becoming a doula, a childbirth educator, a professional baker, an editor, but I just haven’t quite found it yet. I’m excited to see where the hunt takes me.

3. My first word was in Spanish. It was “arroz”–rice.

4. I have lived in 5 countries–Peru, the United States, the Philippines, El Salvador, and Honduras.

5. Up until this point, I have lived in 15 different houses (counting the dorms at BYU).

6. I don’t like to start learning something new if I don’t think I’ll get good at it quickly. It’s a problem.

7. When I was a child, my greatest wish was to visit the Galapagos Islands and see all the amazing animals there.

8. I don’t have the patience required to maintain a cute hair cut and style.

9. I love dark chocolate and have just recently discovered the beautiful world of artisan chocolate.

10. I have a sweet tooth, but it’s confined to baked goods. Candy holds no appeal to me.

11. I took several cake decorating classes and got pretty good at it. I even ran a little business for a while–Dollhouse Cakes–and made miniature cakes made out of layered cookies.

12. I don’t enjoy really spicy food.

13. I don’t have a high school diploma. I skipped 12th grade and started at BYU when I was 16.

14. I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 20 and at BYU.

15. I’d never seen an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation until a couple years ago. Bryce and I started from the beginning and watched every episode of that series.

16. I went vegan for a month a couple years ago and loved it. I think I might try it again.

17. I taught Freshman Composition at BYU as a graduate student. I often had students who were older than me, but I tried not to let them know.

18. I have chosen to birth without pain medication for three of my four births. Two of those were waterbirths. One of those was amazing–a magical experience. The other two were insanely hard. All four were life-changing.

19. Some of my fingers are double jointed.

20. I really enjoy watching shows on The Food Network. My favorite is Chopped.

Today was a beautiful day. Liam was blessed at church today surrounded by a circle of men who love him–Bryce, my dad, Mark, Brad, Brock and Brother Baird (a friend and member of our bishopric). It was great to finally have an Austin in the circle at the blessing of one of our children! We missed Brett, but Memorial Day Weekend plans called him and his family elsewhere. Liam was blessed with health, a keen mind, and a strong testimony of his Savior. It was a lovely blessing. As with Calder and Easton, Liam got to wear Bryce’s blessing outfit for the special occasion. A recap in pictures:

Bryce is in blessing outfit in 1981.

Calder, December 2008 (2.5 months old)

Easton, 2011 (2.5 months)

Liam, May 2013 (5 weeks)

I’d forgotten until I posted these pictures that Calder and Easton were quite a bit older than Liam when they were blessed–hence the visible difference in size between those two and this little guy. They were practically bursting out of the outfit while it’s still plenty big on Liam. But no matter. A blessing day is just a lovely thing.